Broken Bank

Dear Bank Account:

I hereby refuse to look at you or check your balance from now until Thursday. Perhaps even Friday. I know that you are not well and that you may possibly be depleted. However I simply cannot bring myself to look upon the horror that you have become.

Yes, I will live in denial for a week. I will pretend that we are okay and that you are doing just fine. I will not ask much of you at all, keeping in the back of my mind that you are under the weather... but I refuse to stress out about your condition, either. It makes no sense. Why ruin a good mood? Hell, it IS my birthday after all! And with all of the things that must be done I will just assume that you are well enough to play along for now.

Will you do me the favor of keeping quiet? Don't send me mail. Especially those stinky overdraft notices. Those are no fun at all! Instead send me well wishes and birthday cards! Tell me that you wish you had more to give me but it is not permissible. I could understand that.

I know that we have a give and take relationship. I know that in the past (and even in the present) I take more than I give. I will admit this whole-heartedly. You put up with a lot of my bullshit and I wish I could treat you better, give you enough to keep you full and happy which in turn would keep me even happier! Alas, in today's economy it just isn't allowable.

I appreciate your hard work, though. All those debits and checks. So sad to see so many people dip their hands into you. One day we will be better off, I promise. Stick by me through the rough times, okay?

Sincerely,

Your debted friend